The holidays always make me think about hospitality. The most stressful thing about the holidays are the well-meaning friends and relatives who want to invite you to their various holiday celebrations. I think more hosting goes on in the month of December than any other month. Which is kind of sad when you think about it. It makes me wonder: Don't you like to see me at any other times of the year? Why do you insist that I visit when you know I'm getting all kinds of invitations and obligations?
Also, why do YOU always have to be the host? There is so much ego tied up in hosting. Every year all my female relatives compete to be the host of every holiday gathering. Some family members end up attending two, three, even four events in a three week period just to give everyone a chance to host. (Taking turns from year to year is just too long to wait for your next hosting opportunity!) How much of a "holiday" is a holiday spent driving around?
So for all of you who dutifully attend I sympathize and commend you. Most people think that hospitality means only to offer kindness to others and it is probably true that it is better to give than to receive. But it is often much more difficult to accept hospitality graciously.
A few years ago there was a popular saying, WWJD or What Would Jesus Do? Think about it. Jesus was almost never the host. He usually had to rely on the kindness of others. Even when he fed the 5,000 he didn't do it with his own food. He asked for donations from the crowd. About the only time he seemed to be the host was at the Last Supper, but even that took place in a rented room.
In her more lucid moments, my Grandmother, who suffered from dementia, shared with me that she felt that God didn't want her because he wouldn't take her up to heaven. I told her maybe God had something left for her to learn about hospitality. All her life, she had been the host - in her home and in her classroom and in her life - everyone came to her and she loved being a host and bestowing big or little gifts like cookies or loans.
But at the end of her life when she needed to be in assisted living, she was so disappointed. There was no opportunity for her to bestow hospitality. She could really only accept hospitality and to her that was unacceptable.
Hospitality leaves us vunerable on both ends. The host may have unwelcome or rude guests. But the guest must be gracious and accepting - a position where you may not feel that you have control, which is an uncomfortable situation for many Americans. But I think it may have been Ellie Weisel who said you do have control of how you accept the situation.
I've chosen to treat it like a prayer - an offering of gratitude, as if the host was God himself. "For even the least of these ..." I'm certain God could just have as easily been offering hospitality as well as needing it. Who am I to say, "No, thanks," to God?
